As I drove the seven hours it takes to get from my house in Mississippi, to my daughter’s house in Texas, burning through yet another audiobook, I had mixed feelings. I was anxious (fear of the unknown kinda thing) but excited because I thought I was ready…
After all, I successfully raised two healthy, happy kids of my own. How hard could it be to watch my one-year-old grandson Colin for three days while his parents flew cross-country for a wedding?
Spoiler alert: I survived. Colin survived. But man, was I worn out by the time his parents came back. I learned a few things along the way…
The Diaper Comeback Tour
It’s literally been decades since I changed a diaper. Seriously. I mean, the whole “which part of this diaper goes on top and which part goes underneath” thing took me a minute. The problem is compounded when your daughter explains that there are two kinds of diapers – one for daytime, and one for nighttime. But once you get past the “which part goes where” panic, it all comes back to you. Sort of like riding a bike — if the bike smelled weird and wiggled around and grabbed the diaper cream and threw it behind the changing table (that really happened) while you worked on it. Yeah.
Baby Emotions 101
Babies cry. Sometimes for reasons you understand, sometimes for reasons you don’t. There were times when I was convinced Colin was crying just because I looked at him funny. That’s when Sloan’s detailed schedule she had made and had printed out (multiple copies of the same thing, of course) came to the rescue. I referred to that thing multiple times a day. (Pro tip: if you’re babysitting a toddler for more than a few hours, don’t wing it. Ask your kids for the schedule and any specific instructions — written so you can easily refer to it when needed.)
Nap Time Is Sacred
I had forgotten how glorious nap time is — not for the baby, but for me. When Colin took a nap, so did I. Right now, I still work in an office all day, every day and don’t get to take naps in the middle of the day. But dang it boy, those naps sure helped me get ready for the next round of babysitting fun.
Don’t Turn Your Back
You can’t leave a one-year-old alone for more than 12 seconds. (I’m not sure if 12 seconds is the official number, but just to say, you can’t turn your back on them.) Turn away, just for a moment, and he’s eating something he shouldn’t, climbing something he shouldn’t, or finding a way to unlock the mysteries of gravity. The gravity thing is probably the scariest. I mean, no concept at all of why jumping on the couch when you’re across the room is the worst idea ever.
Screen Time (AKA Sanity Time)
Yes, we probably watched too much TV. My daughter actually told me to keep him alive and unharmed and she’d look the other way on how much time we spent watching Ms. Rachel. But when you’re out of tricks and just trying to keep a baby entertained long enough to drink your coffee while it’s still warm, you’ll take all the help you can get. Judge me if you want — I regret nothing.
Bonus Round: The Dog
Now, Sloan also has a dog named Ellie. You’d think the dog would be the easy part. Nope. I have one pet — a Betta fish in a bowl. That’s the extent of my animal experience. I do not know all this dog stuff that so many people take for granted.
Somehow I managed to feed Ellie double portions for a day and a half. She didn’t complain. In fact, she seemed to love my system. I, on the other hand, couldn’t stop wondering, “Why didn’t Sloan leave dog instructions, too?”
I also managed (as far as I know) to keep Ellie from going to the bathroom inside the house. That, to me, feels like a major victory there.
Lesson learned: pets need schedules just like babies do.
Mission Accomplished
In the end, everything went great. Colin was happy, the house was still standing, and I even got Ellie’s feeding back under control. Sloan and Quinn weren’t bothered at all that I burned through entirely too much of the fancy dog food they feed her (that looked super gross to me) and they thanked me about a hundred times, which made me feel really proud.
It reminded me how much I love being a dad — and how much I love being a grandpa. It also reminded me that grandkids are wonderful because, eventually, I can go back home or they go back home with their parents.
I guess my big takeaway from the weekend is that babysitting is tough, but being a grandpa is the best.
